I got to take my ten-year-old niece to see Eclipse last week on its opening day. My niece has read all of the books and is just a bit obsessed with the whole franchise. I haven’t read any of the books, but I have enjoyed learning about the series through her eyes (even though I’m incredibly frightened of vampires), and since it is a great way to bond with her, we’ve seen all the movies together. I have to admit I got caught up a little in all of the opening-day hype as well and was thrilled we were able to get tickets for the 9:55 p.m. show.
In a comical role reversal, after each movie I always have to sit down with her so she can explain all the love triangles and vampire and werewolf machinations to me. So, here’s a bit of our dialogue after seeing Eclipse…
Me: So, what did you think of the movie version of Eclipse?
Niece: I thought it was the best one yet, and it was really, really good.
Me: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Niece: OMG Team Jacob!
Niece: Because he’s so cute and his abs and he’s warm and he’s normal and he’s a big, fluffy animal. I like animals.
Author’s note: Yes, I’m a bit concerned that my niece thinks a guy who turns into a werewolf is considered normal.
Me: Why don’t they ever show Edward’s abs?
Niece: Edward sparkles and shines when he is in the sun, and we would know he’s a vampire.
Author’s note: I think it’s really because Robert Pattinson does not have a six-pack and would really bum out the teenage girls if they saw him standing bare-chested next to Taylor. It could be the end of the whole franchise.
Me: I don’t get it. Why is Bella so amazing? Why do Jacob and Edward both want her so bad?
Niece: For Edward…well, at first, her blood attracted him to her; now he loves her because he knows all about her, he likes her smell, likes that she is mysterious. Edward can read everyone’s mind except for Bella.
Jacob likes her because she is pretty, he likes her personality, and I don’t know; he just likes her.
Author’s note: I still don’t get why all the guys are so hot for Bella, and I have had to ask my niece this question after every movie. As far as I can tell, she is moody, flat-chested and a tomboy, and when I was in high school, guys definitely did not go for that type. Believe me, I know from firsthand experience.
Me: Why is it that the werewolves always have on shorts but no shirts?
Niece: Because when they turn into werewolves, their clothes bust off of them. They actually keep a spare pair of pants tied to their legs so when they turn back into humans, they can put on their pants before coming out of the woods. That way they won’t be naked.
Author’s note: That confirms it—Stephanie Myers is an absolute genius. She mapped out an innocent and logical way to ensure a portion of her male characters would always be shirtless and wove it into her story line. Now that is brilliant! I’ve got to remember to write a premise into my next story that allows my male characters to always appear without some form of clothing.
Me: Why does Bella want to be a vampire so much? It sounds kind of scary to me, and all the other vampires and Jacob seem to be warning her against it.
Niece: She doesn’t want to grow old and have Edward stay seventeen. Edward will always stay alive, and she wants to stay alive with him.
Author’s note: Bella, darling, you have it all wrong. Stay a human (you don’t want to miss out on all the possibilities) and you can be a cougar for life! Think about how much fun you can have with your hot little vampire boy when you’re in your eighties. He will keep you young, vibrant, and you’ll be the envy of all the other women in the nursing home.
Me: Would you want to be a vampire?
Niece: Yeahnooo! (This was delivered all as one word, with a small delay before the emphatic no.)
Niece: Aunt Maria, who do you like better…Edward or Jacob?
Me: I have to admit, Edward is beautiful. There is something about him that the camera just loves, and I can see why young girls go gaga for him. He’s a bit too pale for me, but how cool would it be to have a companion who could read everyone’s mind for me? And I would love jet-setting with him on official visits to Rome.
Jacob does have an amazing body, and I would have a hard time kicking him out of bed for eating crackers, but he’s too moody for me, and I wouldn’t like all the guys from his pack hanging around all the time.
I’m really glad my niece and I got to have our special movie date, and I agree—it was the best movie to date in the Twilight series. I’m also really proud that I made it through a movie that didn’t end until after midnight on a weeknight, but, hey, I can always stay awake for abs and a good vampire fight.
Do you have a question about Eclipse or the Twilight series? Let me know and I’ll ask my niece.
Photo: Juan Tello – taken April 8th 2005, in Naiguatá,Venezuela
Tags: Abs, Bella, Cougar, Eclipse, Edward Cullen, fantasy novels, guy hot, hot edward, Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, romance novels, solar eclipse, Stephenie Meyer, Taylor Lautner, Team Edward, Team Jacob, Twilight, Twilight Saga, Twilight Series, Vampires, Werewolves